My Strength Comes from the Lord

Waiting. Waiting for the doctor. Waiting for results from the hole poked in my chest.  Waiting to know what will be my next course of action. Will the results change what will be happening over the future of me?  Will I still run with endurance the race set before me?  Or will I collapse into a heap of senselessness?

I waited with my mama almost six years ago. Waited on results from holes poked in her body and bones. How did she face it?  I sat in the room with her. Did she hold in emotion for the protection of her child?  She faced it with a brave face and determined her course of action because of her family. She decided the option that gave hope of a little more time with family.  Hers became fatal. 

But this one is mine. And I have kept quiet about it for the most part.  

I don't want attention directed at me. I just might be a complete failure and really don't want to let you down. Because falling into a senseless heap goes against everything I know!  It doesn't represent the strength I have because of the One that placed it in me because of my weakness. 

Oh for grace!  Blessed mercy I don't deserve!  Healing and health that happens everyday to my mind and heart and soul and body. 

This hole in my chest was determined to be needed just before my much anticipated half-marathon.  So I ran thinking my running would end that day.  How can you continuing running with something dreaded hanging over your head? How do you even continue at all?

I have a young friend that is a courageous man. His brain is bringing about physical challenges that should hold him down and make him want to crumple into a senseless heap. But he doesn't. He has a testimony to live out loud. He shares his condition and learns all he can so he can help the next person. He knows he is in the Hand of God and welcomes the opportunity to share what God is doing in and through him. God shows His strength through this young man. And many stand in awe of God's handiwork with this beautiful person. It is a marvelous sight!

So my waiting ends.  The doctor enters with a different face than what I had seen prior to this hole being poked in me. His eyes reflect the news he has. And I begin to think of him and how he has to give good and bad. But he delivers good  to me. 

What praise is adequate to offer the King of Kings?  And I just hope and pray I could say the same exact thing if the news had been different. But for today He offered me one more chance to live without  cancer. 

So instead of staying silent any longer, the words of my daddy ring in my head, "Has God chose you to be tested before all people in your life."  Life worth living is bound to show our failures. Isn't that the point of this clicking of thoughts? So that all of life is pointed to a Redeemer?  This vapor of life is not our own but lived for our Creator. Regardless of worldly diagnosis. Sin is the world's diagnosis. Forgiveness is God's gift to the world. But a gift must be accepted!  I pray you have accepted His gift for you.  In accepting His gift, there is hope.